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Willow Firesong's
Here you will find our beliefs, our myths, our holidays and their meanings, all of the foundations for our religion. Our ethics and our actions all arise from our basic beliefs about the nature of the world.
Sex is a sacred and beautiful experience, meant to be shared by consenting adults, who choose to share their bodies and selves with each other, and take responsibility for any children who might result from their union. It should be entered into with a clear understanding among all parties involved as to exactly what is being promised, and for how long. Sexuality is too important and essential to our natures to be allowed to be tainted by anything that is not "safe, sane, and consensual". In the words of the Church of All Worlds, "If you don't want it, you can't have any." What is important is that everyone understands what is being agreed upon, and is comfortable and happy with it. What is even more important is providing for any children of the union; children deserve stability and love.
Homosexuality, together with polyamory, monogamy, polygamy, polyandry, polyfidelity, and nearly every other form of sexuality, is found throughout the natural world. We, as part of that natural world, are as subject to these varying forms of sexuality as the rest of the animal kingdom. We believe that people are subject to innate variations in their desires, and that most people fall somewhere in the spectrum between extreme homosexuality and extreme heterosexuality. Experience and circumstance can influence what aspects of our innate tastes and desires are expressed, but cannot create a desire that is not innate to the individual.
Homosexuality also does not preclude the desire to have children, or to raise them. Many men and women who are homosexual or bisexual by natural desire make excellent parents, and should be encouraged in their desire if there is an acceptable means available to them to do so. Only the parents, and any other parties directly involved, can determine what constitutes an acceptable means to them; for some, the desire is for a child of their body and/or their genetic lineage, while others are glad to adopt an infant or child in need of a safe, loving and stable home. There is every indication that loving parenting in a stable home by homosexual parents has no influence on the sexual or other development of the child, save perhaps encouraging an open-mindedness and self-awareness that is not as common in the population at large. Since this is beneficial to the child, there is no reason to discourage any stable and loving home from adopting or fostering a child, no matter what the internal relationship of its members.
Love is the strongest bond that can exist between people, and where it exists, gender is no reason to reject it. This is true in religious and magical practice as it is in day to day life. It is important to remember that the balance of opposites, dark and light, male and female, is true of the whole of nature, and we have no need to enforce it any more than we need to enforce gravity. If a man feels called to draw upon the feminine, or goddess energy, that is his right and prerogative, just as a woman may be called to draw upon the god. What goes on between a person and their sense of the divine inspiration is internal and subjective, and not subject to criticism or rejection by others. There is no need to balance the genders within a magical gathering, as long as the energies within are in balance.
This excludes so-called "Women's Mysteries" and "Men's Mysteries", which are specific to the gender with which the person lives each day. These are explorations of the spiritual, metaphysical, and personal aspects of being male or female, and require that a person has lived within the gender before they can bring an understanding to the proceedings. This does not preclude a gathering choosing to throw itself open to an outer Silent Circle of those who would listen, of any gender, or any age. The ages, too, have Mysteries specific to them, and when those of a given age choose to gather to explore these, those outside the age have no place save in the Silent Circle.
Some members of our community are affected by various factors in their prenatal development and formative years. This can result in everything from certain forms of cancer to a condition known as gender dysphoria, in which the external or apparent gender does not correspond with the internally experienced gender of the individual. These people are fortunate when they are listened to and understood by their medical practicioners, and allowed to undergo the prescribed medical treatment for this condition, which includes psychological and/or psychiatric evaluation and counseling, living within the internally experienced gender, and eventually corrective surgery to allow the external gender to correspond with the internal.
Many people with gender dysphoria are not this fortunate. They tend to be at a severe disadvantage in employment, housing, daily life, and are even commonly disowned by families who are unable to accept their child's medical condition. During "Transition", the period in which the pre-surgical transsexual must live as the internal gender while the external body is still attempting to express the wrong gender, especially, many transexuals are completely unable to find employment, and there have been cases where presurgical transsexuals were unable to find money to sustain themselves, much less pay for their surgeries and medical treatment, without subjecting themselves to horrors far beyond the experience of the ordinary person, and beyond the scope of this page in nature.
Any person who would undergo such cruelty and horror as even the luckiest of persons with this medical condition is subjected to on a regular, if not daily basis, must be assumed to be quite sincere and certain in their perception of their internal gender. They are also the person in best position to know, and must, therefore, be treated in all circumstances as the gender they discern in themselves and present to the world, and which their post-surgical body will express if they are fortunate enough to be able to afford the surgery. Even in those unfortunate persons for whom surgery is but a distant possibility, due to financial circumstance, the choice to live under another gender must be honored; in fact, these people are worthy of more compassion and understanding than their more fortunate fellow sufferers, because they are likely to have to live with a body that violates their very sense of self, their soul, for the rest of their life.
Any person suffering this condition has done more self-questioning than we could ever do for them; they should not be subjected to questioning by their family, friends, and casual acquaintances. The only persons with any right, reason, or responsibility to ask questions verifying the gender of social interaction are medical personnel involved in treatment of the individual, those who are seriously considering an intimate physical relationship with the individual, and those in charge of preserving the gender-distinction in places where this is of serious concern - this does not include the relatively private space of a public restroom, with its individual stalls, though it can apply to Men's or Women's Mysteries where the material being dealt with is of an intense and personal nature. In these latter cases, one asking of the question should suffice; given understanding and acceptance of the responsibility held by the person in question, the person being asked should give their reasonable cooperation.
If you encounter a person whose apparent gender does not match the gender division of a space you have chosen to be in, and you have serious grounds for concern due to the nature of the circumstance, it is best to examine your reasons for concern; if they still seem significant, approach the individual in charge of maintaining gender distinction, generally the organizer or leader of the event, or the person in charge of the location. They are almost certainly aware of the person in question, and can confirm their status; if not, they are the best person to enquire into the matter, being the only person with the right and responsibility to affirm the gender of those present. They can also ensure that those individuals of unusual appearance are not subjected to multiple inquiries; even well-meaning and in the best of faith, these can ruin the gathering for the person thus singled out. If there is enough trust and caring present in the gathering, the transsexual confronted with this type of situation may choose to educate, but s/he is not obligated to do so. This is daily life, and we know better than to force sufferers of life-altering medical conditions to explain the nature of their existence to every casual inquirer or person with whom they must interact.
There is a significant disproportion in numbers of transsexuals who are women born in men's bodies, vs. men born in women's bodies. Ten times as many transsexuals are Male to Female than seek surgery to change their external body from Female to Male. This may be related to the presence of extremely high levels of xenoestrogens, or chemical contaminants that act as female hormones, in our environment. Male to Female transsexualism is often associate with the use of DiEthylStilbestrol, or DES, by their mothers prenatally; this is a female hormone sometimes used as a fertility drug. It is possible that our pollution of our air and water with female hormones may be causing more women to be born, even in men's bodies. It is known scientific fact that the proportion of male to female births in the US has shifted from the standard 49-51 (more women than men are born in every nation), to a statistically significant 47 percent male births, 53 percent female.
It is also important to note that gender is no guide to sexual orientation, even among the transsexual population. Just as with the rest of us, transsexuals of either variety fall somewhere on the spectrum of sexuality, from love of one gender, through love of both, to love of the other. Their status, pre or post surgical also has nothing to do with it. Currently, laws in all US states require transsexuals to dissolve any legal marriages before surgery, but this is a legal discrimination being fought by these persons, in conjunction with a number of civil rights groups.
Transsexuals are as capable of loving monogamous marriage, both pre and post surgery, as any other persons. They are also as capable of responsibly or irresponsibly enjoying their sexuality after surgery as any other person. Before surgery, however, it is another story - I do not know how many of us could function sexually with no problems while attempting to operate a body that is not even our own gender. Counseling and therapy, including hormonal therapy both before and after surgery, can make it possible for these medically challenged individuals to overcome the handicap they face, and become more balanced and healthy in their attitude toward sexuality than many who are not confronted with such challenges to their very sex and sexuality, among the most basic defining elements of the self. Some of these persons experience profound feelings when they find that they are, in fact, possessed of divine archetypes, in the person of Hermaphrodite, and other deities who bear within them elements of both male and female, or in Kore, or other goddesses who have suffered imprisonment. The feeling of being a goddess trapped within the body of a man is not uncommon to pagan transsexuals, and this imagery can be very powerful. This aspect of pagan religion can offer the potential for significant healing experiences for many persons of unusual gender, transsexual or otherwise. Many have been told that they are unnatural, and to find a religion that accepts them and their place in the natural world is a welcome and healing experience.
Because, perhaps, of the challenges they must face and overcome in seeking the health that is the most basic portion of every person, some cultures have revered the person of unusual, mismatched, or ambiguous gender and/or sexuality as spiritual in nature, partaking of both the divine male and female essences, in a mixture too intense for human flesh to sustain without strain or damage. It is true that these people have a unique perspective that may offer unique insights into the nature of the masculine and feminine aspects of nature and divinity. Some transsexuals consider themselves to be, as they put it, ninety degrees off from gender as we know it. From this angle, there may be much to be seen, and our culture, community, and religion cannot help but benefit from the richness of welcoming unique perspectives of all varieties, including this misunderstood and victimized segment of our population.
Polyamory is the sharing of a sexual experience by multiple persons, whether in succession or in conjunction. As has been said, we view sex as a sacred and beautiful experience, meant to be shared by consenting adults, who choose to share their bodies and selves with each other, and take responsibility for any children who might result from their union. It should be entered into with a clear understanding among all parties involved as to exactly what is being promised, and for how long. Clearly, there is nothing in this to preclude polyamory, if that is what is desired by all participants, and if it is being practised in a stable form if any party involved has children. Polyfidelity, the choice of a faithful sexual relationship involving more than two people, is the form of polyamory generally under discussion where children are involved.
Sexuality is too important and essential to our natures to be allowed to be tainted by anything that is not "safe, sane, and consensual". In the words of the Church of All Worlds, "If you don't want it, you can't have any." What is important is that everyone understands what is being agreed upon, and is comfortable and happy with it. This becomes increasingly important with each relationship that enters the picture. The addition of a single person to a two person relationship introduces not one, but three new relationships into the picture: the relationship of each of the original persons with the new person, for two, and the relationship of all three people together, which is the third. A single relationship offers challenges that most of us have known and found hard enough to deal with. The introduction of three more relationships offers corresponding challenges, and is not a decision to be undertaken lightly. Each person should take time to consider carefully, and confer with the others both seperately and together.
Even more important is providing for any children of the union; children deserve stability and love. This becomes even more important when there are more people involved in the relationship for the children to bond with. For this reason, where children are involved, we believe that there should exist a set of stable and commited relationships upon which the children may depend, and that no person should be introduced into the household, in a sexual context or any other, without first considering the impact upon all existing members of the household, and the relationships within it, ESPECIALLY the children's involvement. It is impossible to have a sexual relationship that escapes the notice of children who are brought up in a reasonable awareness and understanding of the world, and the place of sexuality within it. It shows in the parent's demeanor, if no other trace is left, and it is inevitable that the children will be impacted by any sexual or other serious involvement on the part of the parent or other responsible member of the immediate household. Children are a responsibility that takes precedence over the immediate enjoyment of their parents. The involvement of children need not, and should not, completely preclude the involvement of another adult into the home in a loving stable relationship, of a sexual nature otherwise, it simply must be done with due care and consideration.
As children grow into physical and sexual adulthood, their hormonal drive will created in them a desire to explore the sexual aspects of their natures, as these arise in their lives and consciousness. This is a normal and healthy part of development, and should not be condemned or vilified by the adults in their community or family; however, those same adults should be guarding the interests of the child in protecting them from inappropriate advantage being taken by an adult of the first stages of the child/adults's developing sexuality. For adolescents to explore their hearts and bodies together as they grow can be a natural, healthy, and wholesome activity, as long as it is not tainted by manipulation or abuse by a more experienced person.
One of the greatest gifts that loving adults can give a child is the ability to reach adulthood confident in their sexuality and unscarred by inappropriate and injurious experiences for which they were not ready, nor able to protect themselves, due to lack of experience on which to base their judgements. No matter how bright or advanced the young person in question, it is impossible to have a foundation for good judgement in an area in which one has no experience.
Puberty is the absolute minimum age for sexual expression, however - there is absolutely no excuse for encouraging serious sexual behaviour in a child who has not yet reached sexual maturity as expressed by fertility. Imitative play by young children is, of course, another matter, as is the natural curiosity about the difference in body types between the sexes - children who are not shielded from adult expressions of love, but are instead taught that these are for adults who love each other, are apt to mimic the healthy relationships they see, first in their play, then in their own lives. This is natural and healthy.
Sex is not only sacred, it is inherently a very strong form of personal energy. A powerful sexual experience can, and does, create energy that can be utilized by the mind in the way that we sometimes choose to term magic. If done intentionally for this purpose, this energy can be intentionally increased; even if done for other reasons, the energy is still available for direction by the mind. Any purpose toward which the Will is already focused will render direction for the use of any available energies, including those of sexual nature.
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