Why has she been like this from day one? I don't know for certain, but I can tell you this; the children I have seen who are alert and oriented, as she is, tend to be the children I see at the health food store, and often at pagan gatherings. These are children who have been born naturally and drug-free, breastfed for the first 6 months minimum, preferably at least the first year, have been fed organically-grown food when they are introduced to solids, and have been loved and treated like the important, valuable people they are, from the day they were born.
We do find that many of the books, videos, and music that are available for children are either insipid, or else convey some distressing messages, religious or otherwise. We are choosy with the concepts we expose our Sprout to; love is good, the body is good, sex can be a happy part of love, but she does not need to know about violence, or hate, or cruelty, at this young age. Death is a fact that must be faced, but the explanation can still be gentle - "Our gerbil was old, she had lived a long time, and now she was done, so she stopped, and she has taken off her body to try something else now."
Where we cannot find what we want for her, we do our best to create it. My husband and I have both taken up writing for children, in an attempt to bring children's literature into availability that is pagan, earth-friendly, and respectful of the children, as well as being entertaining and enjoyable. We encourage others to do the same. Write a song, a story, or a poem for your child. You will be amazed by the delight they respond with, and both of you will benefit, as will all the others with whom you choose to share your creation.
The answer to this question must, of course, take differing forms at differing ages. For our Sprout, we have been giving her an answer since before she could ask, which is as true as the other answers she will get later.
We tell her that Mommy and Daddy fell in love and got married. And Mommy and Daddy loved each other very much; so much, that there was not room for their love in all the world, and Mommy got bigger to make more room for the love. So, Mommy grew bigger, and bigger, and eventually, a piece of the love broke off, and came out, and the piece of love is Sprout. And now Mommy and Daddy have a Sprout to love, and as she grows we'll have more room to put all the love that we have for her, which grows every day, too. And someday, Mommy and Daddy may run out of room for all the love they have again, and Mommy may get big to make more room for love again, because that is the special talent Mommies have, that makes them Mommies. And if that happens, she may have a little brother or sister to love.
We also have a song I have sung to her from very early in her life. I figured that she would eventually be likely to hear the song "Jesus Loves Me", from one of her fundamentalist Christian relatives, or in some other social context, and so I thought I would introduce her to another form that might hold greater appeal. That is how and why I wrote the following lyrics for that tune:
Mommy loves Me, this I know
For she often tells me so.
Daddy loves me too, you see,
I love them, and they love me.
My Mommy loves me,
My Daddy loves me,
My parents love me,
They often tell me so.
Feel free to adapt these as you desire, to fit your family. I have thought of some alternate verses, for alternate families, but don't feel like you have to use my version.
Mommy loves me, this I know,
For she often tells me so.
Other Mommy loves me too,
Some have one, but I have two.
My Mommies loves me,
I love my Mommies,
We are a family,
A family's made of love.
etc.
Children who are loved, and know it, are much more secure, and have less need to find ways to attract attention. Studies with monkeys have shown that there are some degrees of nervousness or boldness that are innate at birth, but that these can also be significantly affected by the parenting of the mother. If she is clingy, the infant becomes timid, unsure how to respond to new circumstances. If she lets the infant go, but is not there for it when it is scared, the child will become somewhat wild and aggressive. But, if she lets the infant go, is there for it to return to when needed, and offers brief comforting and cuddling whenever desired, the infant tends to become bold and explorative, but still reasonably cautious, the best of both worlds.
As has been said in the Tradition section of my website, I believe that children are the most precious blessing and responsibility we can ever receive, and that they are entrusted to us to raise to a healthy adulthood. To do that, we must teach them to protect themselves, and protect them until they have had a chance to learn. We cannot do this unless we have their trust and respect, and we can only get that by loving them, respecting them, trusting them, but not by trusting the world around them to be as kind as we believe they deserve in their growing up.
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